As a long-time educator in a family with several other teachers, and as a dad, I can share some insights to help answer this question.

This is part 2 of a series focused on choosing the best school. Part 1 focused on some big ideas and is, I hope, reassuring, that despite perfection being elusive, helping our children thrive educationally is within reach. See it here: https://yovolo.org/what-is-the-best-school-for-my-child/

First, try to understand your child.  

The best school for your child depends on your child. So, a first step is to sensitively, and empathetically understand who that young person really is. That might not be as easy as it sounds. Children, like all people, have depths and dimensions that are hard to conceptualize and understand. We tend to understand people (or think we understand them) by comparing them to ourselves. It is easy to think that they think and feel like we do. But really, parents, haven’t you ever been completely surprised by something your little child has said? I sure have. I have been taken by surprise sometimes, and I wonder, “Where did that come from? What are you thinking? How are you perceiving the world right now?”

I think it is not possible to completely understand all the dimensions of your child. However here are a few things that can help to get closer to the reality of who they are:

1. REMEMBER that your child is a complex entity, so LISTEN to them as openly as you can.
2. SET ASIDE A TIME to focus on understanding your child. When that time comes, find a special, quiet, comfortable place free from distractions. Make sure no music is playing; music can influence our emotions enough that we might mix up what we know about the child with how we feel about the music. Take some deep breaths and picture your child in your mind’s eye. Then try to understand them as a changing person who is learning and growing. What special talents or gifts do they seem to have already? What special interests have they communicated already?  
3. INCLUDE OTHER PEOPLE you trust who care about the child such as your spouse, their grandparents, godparents, nanny, etc. It could be great if you invite a few of these other people to the special time and place you have set aside for focusing on your child.
4. ACCEPT that your child is an individual. They are great. They have boundless potential. They won’t turn out like you. They will, however, be surprisingly like you in some ways, but not all the ways you expect.  
5. NO PIGEON-HOLING – you are just trying to understand the child right now as they appear on a much longer journey. It helps to remember not only that they are complex, but also that they are developing.
6. CONSIDER what the young person’s talents and interests seem to be suggesting about how and what this child will learn best and what will be the most meaningful to them. Here again is a caution: just because something worked for us or was required of us, does not mean that it will be the same for our child. As Sir Ken Robinson wrote,

“In my experience, most parents want their children to learn about the world around them, develop their natural talents and interests, and acquire the skills and knowledge they’ll need to become good citizens and make a decent living…Whatever you want, what sort of education do you think they need? If you think a conventional academic education supported by perfect test scores is best, you may well be wrong. Even if you don’t think that, many policy makers do and that’s a problem. In my view, they’re wrong too.”

“So, Sir Ken Robinson,” we ask, “what would you suggest?” He wrote a book together with Lou Aronica about that. In the next part of this blog, I will highlight parts of his book that help to answer the question about picking the best school. Or you could just go out straightaway and buy the book and read it. It is great. It is called, “You, Your Child, and School: Navigate Your Way to the Best Education.” (2019. Penguin books)

Or, if you’d like my version of shorter notes, please see part 3.